Yesterday God and I had lunch. I've got to tell you that things have been full force in my spiritual battle, and I felt worn down, so I prayed for help and clarity of mind. God responded immediately with an answer, "Why don't WE go to lunch?"
"Really?" I thought, "like a lunch date?"
"YES" came the reply, "like a lunch date."
When lunchtime came, I went to my beach, it's actually called Moonlight Beach, but it's the place that I go to when I need to think. It's right down the street from my work, and it is really beautiful. I brought my lunch, and sat on one of the benches located on a cliff that overlooks my beach. As I sat there, I breathed in the wonderful warm salt air, felt the cool breeze touch my face, and for the first time in a several days I just took a deep, relaxing breath. I felt God's presence with me as I sat there eating my lunch. It felt like Love was wrapping me in a blanket of Peace. It was like fresh from the oven chocolate chip cookies and mama's praise all wrapped up on a park bench.
As I got ready to leave, I felt so much better. The spiritual battle was still raging around me, but I KNEW that I was not alone in this!
"Thank you, God. I really needed that"
"You're welcome. Next time, don't wait so long to have lunch with me. You know I'm always here for you, all you have to do is ask."
I know...you are awesome. I love you, God.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A better day than yesterday!!
First of all, I just want to say how awesome North Coast Church is! AWESOME! Can't wait for you to come visit so I can take you there. It's really hard to believe that I've only been attending for a little more than 2 months. I have delved head first into this church. Again, I feel God pressing "SERVICE" into my heart...really? Service? OK God, not my will, but yours be done! And so with a joyfull heart (yes, mom, you read correctly) I am serving in any capacity I can. Their singles ministry is really strong, and I've meet some really beautiful people! I feel like my Christian Circle that God told me I needed to create around me is forming. Mary, the only other girl in my Growth Group, is truly a gift from God. Her, Eurose, and Iowa Ginger have made up my Accountability Team, or as I like to call them, my "A" Team!! :) This journey is a hard one for me, and I've struggled a lot with the place my heart is in right now. I feel blessed that God has put this team in place for me. Spiritual warfare is not just a fictional literary device. It's real! I've been in the fight for several months now, and I think I've won the last several battles, but it's important for me to stay humble, the war is NOT over!!
Another "YEAH GOD" moment...I started writing again. Thank you, God! My words are coming back to me, and the Holy Spirit is pressing this amazing story on my heart. It's a children's story. I'll bring it with me, when I go to Tracy at the end of the month. And, I'm still in the running for the YMCA Piano Instructor position, but man, is this taking a long time, or what?! What was that, God? Oh yeah, patience...right. Sorry. All in God's time. God, you're so awesome! Have I told you "I love you today? Well, I do."
Another "YEAH GOD" moment...I started writing again. Thank you, God! My words are coming back to me, and the Holy Spirit is pressing this amazing story on my heart. It's a children's story. I'll bring it with me, when I go to Tracy at the end of the month. And, I'm still in the running for the YMCA Piano Instructor position, but man, is this taking a long time, or what?! What was that, God? Oh yeah, patience...right. Sorry. All in God's time. God, you're so awesome! Have I told you "I love you today? Well, I do."
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
My Second Step in the Right Direction
Let me tell ya folks...this is gonna be a looong journey!
After my surprise visit from "him" I fell into a small tail spin (yet again). Looking back a week and a half later, I'm starting to take my first deep, calming breaths again. It feels good to be in my own skin again. I missed this, and more importantly, I think God missed me too!
Before the visit, I had felt something that I only vaguely remember from the time before my mom died. Peace. Listen, if you've never felt God's complete and holy love within your heart, man, you need to get there! It's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt, and I know that I always want to live in God's love. I pray each day that my actions are not only "right" but that I make God proud of me, that he looks at me and, with a smile on his face, says "well done, my good and faithful servant." I want my Papa to be proud of me. Speaking of which...
I just finished "The Shack." Dad, you were right. It's awesome, and I think everyone that breaths should read that book because it explains God's Love in a very tangible way. I needed to read that book. Thank you, God. I love you, too.
After my surprise visit from "him" I fell into a small tail spin (yet again). Looking back a week and a half later, I'm starting to take my first deep, calming breaths again. It feels good to be in my own skin again. I missed this, and more importantly, I think God missed me too!
Before the visit, I had felt something that I only vaguely remember from the time before my mom died. Peace. Listen, if you've never felt God's complete and holy love within your heart, man, you need to get there! It's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt, and I know that I always want to live in God's love. I pray each day that my actions are not only "right" but that I make God proud of me, that he looks at me and, with a smile on his face, says "well done, my good and faithful servant." I want my Papa to be proud of me. Speaking of which...
I just finished "The Shack." Dad, you were right. It's awesome, and I think everyone that breaths should read that book because it explains God's Love in a very tangible way. I needed to read that book. Thank you, God. I love you, too.
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