Lunch with God

Yesterday God and I had lunch. I've got to tell you that things have been full force in my spiritual battle, and I felt worn down, so I prayed for help and clarity of mind. God responded immediately with an answer, "Why don't WE go to lunch?"

"Really?" I thought, "like a lunch date?"
"YES" came the reply, "like a lunch date."

When lunchtime came, I went to my beach, it's actually called Moonlight Beach, but it's the place that I go to when I need to think. It's right down the street from my work, and it is really beautiful. I brought my lunch, and sat on one of the benches located on a cliff that overlooks my beach. As I sat there, I breathed in the wonderful warm salt air, felt the cool breeze touch my face, and for the first time in a several days I just took a deep, relaxing breath. I felt God's presence with me as I sat there eating my lunch. It felt like Love was wrapping me in a blanket of Peace. It was like fresh from the oven chocolate chip cookies and mama's praise all wrapped up on a park bench.

As I got ready to leave, I felt so much better. The spiritual battle was still raging around me, but I KNEW that I was not alone in this!

"Thank you, God. I really needed that"
"You're welcome. Next time, don't wait so long to have lunch with me. You know I'm always here for you, all you have to do is ask."

I know...you are awesome. I love you, God.

A better day than yesterday!!

First of all, I just want to say how awesome North Coast Church is! AWESOME! Can't wait for you to come visit so I can take you there. It's really hard to believe that I've only been attending for a little more than 2 months. I have delved head first into this church. Again, I feel God pressing "SERVICE" into my heart...really? Service? OK God, not my will, but yours be done! And so with a joyfull heart (yes, mom, you read correctly) I am serving in any capacity I can. Their singles ministry is really strong, and I've meet some really beautiful people! I feel like my Christian Circle that God told me I needed to create around me is forming. Mary, the only other girl in my Growth Group, is truly a gift from God. Her, Eurose, and Iowa Ginger have made up my Accountability Team, or as I like to call them, my "A" Team!! :) This journey is a hard one for me, and I've struggled a lot with the place my heart is in right now. I feel blessed that God has put this team in place for me. Spiritual warfare is not just a fictional literary device. It's real! I've been in the fight for several months now, and I think I've won the last several battles, but it's important for me to stay humble, the war is NOT over!!

Another "YEAH GOD" moment...I started writing again. Thank you, God! My words are coming back to me, and the Holy Spirit is pressing this amazing story on my heart. It's a children's story. I'll bring it with me, when I go to Tracy at the end of the month. And, I'm still in the running for the YMCA Piano Instructor position, but man, is this taking a long time, or what?! What was that, God? Oh yeah, patience...right. Sorry. All in God's time. God, you're so awesome! Have I told you "I love you today? Well, I do."

My Second Step in the Right Direction

Let me tell ya folks...this is gonna be a looong journey!

After my surprise visit from "him" I fell into a small tail spin (yet again). Looking back a week and a half later, I'm starting to take my first deep, calming breaths again. It feels good to be in my own skin again. I missed this, and more importantly, I think God missed me too!

Before the visit, I had felt something that I only vaguely remember from the time before my mom died. Peace. Listen, if you've never felt God's complete and holy love within your heart, man, you need to get there! It's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt, and I know that I always want to live in God's love. I pray each day that my actions are not only "right" but that I make God proud of me, that he looks at me and, with a smile on his face, says "well done, my good and faithful servant." I want my Papa to be proud of me. Speaking of which...

I just finished "The Shack." Dad, you were right. It's awesome, and I think everyone that breaths should read that book because it explains God's Love in a very tangible way. I needed to read that book. Thank you, God. I love you, too.

My First Growth Group Experience

Well, Thursday (last night) was my first Growth Group class at North Coast Church. It was pathetic and wonderful at the same time! How so you ask...? Well, out of the 10 people that signed up for this new group only 3 people were there. YUP...3! So, there was Steve (the Growth Group Leader), Gary (a good friend of Steve), and myself. Needless to say, it was something of a bust!

However, I could tell that God was working through these two men! When they found out that I had only been going to North Coast for a couple of weeks, they were horrified that the turnout was so low, and told me that this was not normal. Furthermore, they really tried to relieve my fears about being the only girl among 2 strange guys. They told me countless times that this is a place for all to feel safe, and that they were so sorry that more female participants didn't show up. They felt awkward, and because of their actions, I felt more comfortable around them!

They told me about the Singles Group meeting which takes place every 2nd Friday of the month, which happens to be today, and told me that I should really attend. I told them that I was not ready for a "Singles" type of atmosphere and that I really just wanted to meet some new Christian friends, and grow spritually. It was funny, because they were both adamant that it was NOT a "meat market"! They told me that it was a great way to meet new people, and feel safe in that environment. They really made me feel welcome, and told me that if I went, they would introduce me to some strong Christian women who I may be able to connect with! So, I decided that maybe I should go tonight (thanks to Steve and Gary).

I have really been praying that this Growth Group would really help me walk closer to God. I asked Him for that. I was also going to have "the Big talk" with James tonight, but I feel that God is leading me back to North Coast tonight. I really don't know what the right thing for me to do is (as far as talking with James). I only know that God is leading me back to church tonight. I keep hearing God repeating Matthew 6:25-34 in my head, "...Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have it's own worries" OK, God. Thank you for that reminder! I just need to keep my focus on today (and on HIM), and He will take care of the rest.

God is Good...he really is!

My First Steps

Welcome! Thanks for taking a moment to walk beside me in my journey. I don't know where this road will lead me. I only know that God has created this path for me to follow. It's up to me to stay on the road, or leap into the bushes to make my own way, defiant of His will.

This jouney has been a long time in the making, and at this moment in time, I have NO IDEA where this path will take me, there is only fog ahead. I only ask that you read my words with an open heart, and pray that God gives me the strength to stay on course.

I love you all. Thank you for your love and prayers,
Thea